ZIZZY’s blog

A brief case was left unattended near some tables and chairs in Wilshire, and since everything these days must be a bomb, the authorities were called. Helicopters arrived, yellow tape was set up, people were advised to stay away from their windows, and a dozen police cars were there at the ready. What made this briefcase so special, and why did it deserve enough of a police force to take out a small mob?Because according to Variety, this brief case was “threatening.” I’m unsure what makes a briefcase threatening, but this one must have somehow been menacing and terrifying and therefore warranted special treatment.

After over half an hour of analyzing the situation and deciding what the best plan of attack was, the police struck - and opened the briefcase. However, the contents of this case weren’t really all that dangerous. They weren’t really anything at all - the briefcase was empty. The day had been saved, and another bomb was narrowly avoided.

Car washes aren’t really that interesting, and so a group in Australia decided to spice things up. Their car wash includes topless ladies and arousing sideshows along with the regular wash:

The Bubbles ‘n’ Babes car wash in Brisbane prompted a flood of complaints with a topless car wash for A$55 ($45) and a nude car wash with X-rated lap-dance service for A$100.

I can’t understand why anyone would be opposed to making car washes more exciting. They were even environmentally aware:

The raunchy wash, set up by a strip-club owner, was screened from the public and used recycled water to avoid breaching water use restrictions, they said.

Do you think the others used recycled water? I doubt it. They were afraid it would be distracting though:

“We don’t want any traffic accidents caused by people looking at the girls instead of looking at the road,” Superintendent Colin Campbell told local media.

Seriously? I’m not sure how anyone could even see since it was screened. And is this really the biggest traffic danger? I’m sure they could find something better to focus their attention on. However, even though they pretended to dislike it they actually enjoyed it as much as the next guy, since they chose not to do anything:

[The car wash] has been given the all-clear after police and officials said they were powerless to scrub it.

Haha, “scrub” it, hah…anyone? If you’re ever going to Australia, make sure to get your car washed while you’re there.

There was a time long ago when things were very different - Jared was fat and people actually paid for porn (I know, it’s absurd). Interestingly enough, those just happen to be related. Before he became famous for having huge pants, Jared had another job - renting porn to other students at his college. He had a large collection of pornography tapes, and would rent them to anyone who needed something to watch while they…studied. While now paying even a single dollar seems a bit much, back then his dollar a day rate brought people from all over. As long as they remembered to “Be Kind, Rewind,” and “Aim, don’t leave a stain,” everything was fine.

So what led him to abandon his honest pornography business for a life of lies about losing weight by eating a lot? Subway just happened to open up right under his dorm, and so then not only did he have a massive porn collection at his disposal, but his favorite thing, food, right where he lived. One thing led to another, and now his life is completely different. The moral of this story: Watch a lot of porn and don’t bother going anywhere, because good things (if that’s what it can be called) will come to you.

It has once again been proven that so many people these days really don’t know what’s bad for children. In a survey from March of this year, adult Americans rated 17 different health concerns for children. It seems to contain valid issues - until you reach number 7 on the list, “Internet Safety.” This “health issue” is apparently a bigger problem than school violence, sexual infections, abuse and neglect, depression, suicide, food contamination, childhood cancer, and others.

Seriously? It’s arguable that the internet should even be considered a health issue, and when it ranks as number seven over many much more troubling problems, something is wrong. Keeping children safe on the internet is as simple as not letting them chat with random strangers, blocking certain sites (say, blog.z1zzy.com), and a few other basic precautions, while most of the other items require much more to prevent.

Interestingly enough, one of the big issues facing children today wasn’t even included - adults who really have no idea what is best for children, and what they need to avoid (hint: Internet is pretty low on that list).

[Via Download Squad]

There are plenty of people with weird names, and a lot of them probably wish they were just called something ordinary. Not Karen though. While she may have a normal last name now, she’s planning on getting it changed. But she’s not going to choose it - instead, she has set up an Ebay auction and for $10,000 anyone can pick her new last name. Here’s what that $10,000 will get you:

For the winner of this auction, I will legally change my last name to the name of your choice. I will keep the name you choose for a term of no less than a year per grand, with a starting figure of 10,000 and a time period of 10 years. I will use your choice actively every day. This is a chance for a great amount of publicity. For your buisness [sic] there will be a surge of philanthropic publicity, followed by at least 10 years of people talking about it every time I fill out a form or show my ID. There were in excess of 2300 views of this auction when the originaly [sic] got pulled. If each of those people told only one person a piece, who told one person, who told one person.. invaluable advertising! The same concept would apply to every form I fill out, every time I give my name, etc. In addition you will be helping 3 beautiful, smart children! What could be better?

Read the rest of this entry »

If you choose to vote in the elections, you should have a candidate in mind by the time you get to the ballot box, preferably much sooner. However, Sen. Mike Bennett believes that some people do not want to vote for any of the candidates, but want to vote anyway. His solution is a bill he convinced the Senate Ethics and Elections committee to approve, which requires another option to be included on ballots - “I choose not to vote.” Personally I find this a bit stupid, since if someone doesn’t want to vote they aren’t going to spend the time to go to a polling place for the sole sake of voting for not voting. Not to mention anyone who checks that box is contradicting themselves, since by doing so they are in fact voting.

Bennett thinks the option would allow voters to make a clear statement that they don’t want to vote for a candidate. I think our low voter turnout compared to some countries is statement enough, and all in all this seems pretty pointless.

While most countries are moving forward with the Internet, China is going backwards. The Internet could never be what it is today without the freedom it provides, the ability to access anything at any time. China doesn’t seem to understand this though, and censors much of what shows up on the Internet. They would like to “purify” it - and their idea of purification is spreading the Communist Party doctrine and anything that “adheres to correct propaganda guidance,” while censoring everything they don’t like. Their latest move (from CNN):

Chinese President Hu Jintao on Monday launched a campaign to rid the country’s sprawling Internet of “unhealthy” content and make it a springboard for Communist Party doctrine, state television reported.

With Hu presiding, the Communist Party Politburo — its 24-member inner council — discussed cleaning up the Internet, state television reported. The meeting promised to place the often unruly medium more firmly under propaganda controls.

[Via Download Squad]

I’m sure there have been plenty of crazy attempts people have made to get away from the police, but this must be one of the weirdest (and at the same time least effective). Felicha Marin, an 18 year old woman in Acton, was arrested on March 29th for stealing shoes. I know that up until now it may sound normal, but this is where it gets interesting weird.

Using her right breast, she “assaulted” the officer - while he was dazzled by her bare mammary, she went in for the attack (Link very NSFW). And by that, I mean she sprayed him with her breast milk. Besides a show of incredible marksmanship, I cannot think of what she possibly hoped to accomplish. Now, not only is she being charged with shoplifting but assault too. I can think of many better uses for her breast(s) that would have been much more convincing to the officer.

According to a CNN article, every second there are around 28,258 internet users watching porn. That means that every second, about 1,130,320,000,000 potential children are dying.

Disturbing statistics aside, the CNN article goes on to describe the efforts of Christian groups in helping people with a porn addiction. Take, for example, the Pure Life Christian Ministries located Williamstown, Kentucky. For six (torturous) months, they live there, learning how to give up their so called addiction. However, it appears they are trying to make it incredibly hard not to indulge in “outside stimulation.” The men are completely cut off from the rest of the world, and there isn’t any television, Internet or cell phones. Even their mail is “screened for clothing catalogues with what could be considered inappropriate images.” I’d imagine it would become excruciatingly boring, and we all know what one of the best things to do is when bored. They supposedly want to help, but all I can see it doing is increasing the mens urges to watch porn.

While I can accept (but not quite understand) if someone chooses to avoid porn, this group takes it a little bit too seriously - the facility’s head counselor, Jeff Col�n (Haha) believes that “their soul’s in danger.” If you have something against porn that’s fine, but isn’t that kind of extreme?

Well, I’ve got nothing more to say, so I’m going to go and make that number 28,259.

A fall from six stories up would seriously injure anyone, maybe even kill them. That is, unless there was a pile of fresh shit waiting to catch them. As unlikely as that may sound, it’s exactly what happened to a Chinese woman in Beijing, according to Yahoo. While hanging out her laundry, she must have leaned just a little too far - and subsequently fell over her balcony. What awaited her at the end of her plummet wasn’t the hard ground though. Instead, she landed on a 20 cm thick heap of crap. “Workers happened to be emptying the building’s septic tank, which had not been tended for a long time and had regularly blocked sewage pipes,” a local newspaper said. Thanks to a large amount of other people’s shit, she suffered only slight injuries and what is probably one of the most disgusting experiences of her life.